Diesel

It’s been four months since I last posted. I’ve had a hard time viewing anything as worthy of words since I lost my grandfather. It’s like flipping the channel from a news story of great tragedy to a cartoon; it just doesn’t feel right. Nevertheless, I know I have to take control and allow myself to analyze the world again to continue growing, for a tree doesn’t stop reaching for the sky when a leaf falls from it’s arms. Before I get back to trying to decode this world, I need to catch up on a few things.

Since my last post I have lost another great friend, Jason Hargrove. He was so many things to me- high school homie, college roommate, back up singer, body guard, party wingman, and above all a brother in a small group of friends who consider ourselves as such. I painted on the day we lost him.

Welcome home, Jason.
Where are we?
We are everywhere.
What’s next?
Anything you want and all the things you could never imagine.
Will I ever live again?
Jason, what you knew as life was but a nights sleep in the world of eternity. Do you miss a dream when you wake up?
No.
Well, good morning. You’re home now.

So far this summer I have seen my great friend Grayson get married in Charleston and my little cousin Julie get married in Delaware. People keep telling me this is what your late twenties is like in a joking manner, as if I’m supposed to frown upon the idea of getting together with my family and friends to drink and eat for free and dance all night. Weddings don’t make me feel old, my knees do.

I’ve also completed my first year of Graduate school at George Mason University. I’m studying Instructional Design and Development, which is teaching me the theories behind how people learn and ways to utilize those principles when designing and implementing different learning environments. I developed prototype webpages that do things like promote cultural awareness for exchange students, teach people how to avoid computer identity theft, and help Spanish speaking teachers develop lesson plans for teaching English language speaking skills. I’m still not positive how I want to apply this knowledge to build my career, but here are some things I know I enjoy:

• I enjoy audio and visual design. I don’t mean to say that I’m a great graphic designer or musician. In fact, I’ll probably never master those skills nor do I think I wish to. I love coming up with an idea and working with someone, who is talented and passionate about their skill, to bring that idea to fruition. I see what lives inside me for writing and performing inside them for playing the guitar, taking pictures, or designing graphics. I want to be surrounded by those people for the rest of my life and work with them to create something we can own.
• I enjoy coaching and teaching. I like speaking to people, connecting with them and helping them improve. I think I could find a similar pleasure in managing a production team… but what to produce?

My mind has undoubtedly been occupied on school and work, as I’m still working full-time on the ELA program I started a year ago and taking three classes a semester while doing so. I haven’t had as much time to write and perform but the good news is I’m taking the frustration that goes with that and turning it into music. I think my peers will be able to relate to my next project.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IEKhEB6LoA&w=420&h=315]

I’ll be turning 27 this Saturday and feel good about where I am and what is to come. I have a great girl, my family and friends are healthy and happy, and the music of my soul continues to resonate through my body. God willing the path before me will be as challenging as it is prosperous, for so much of my character has been built through moments I would have wished to avoid. I look forward to a future filled with adventure, art, and love.