Doulas and Coaches: A Reflection of Ourselves

Lisa’s plan was to have an unmedicated birth and that’s exactly what she did. 24 hours of labor, a 2-hour delivery, a few nurses and doctors that really pushed for Pitocin in the early stages, and the lower back pain from contractions wasn’t enough to throw her off course, but it got close.

Looking back on the experience, Lisa said she might have given in to the nurses recommendation to manage the labor if it wasn’t for our doula, Julie. It wasn’t just the body positions Julie suggested to help Lisa manage the pain and move the labor forward, or the words of encouragement that helped her tap into her inner warrior, it was the presence of someone we trusted who had been through a version of this before. Someone we had an established relationship with, who was less emotionally involved, who understood how to best communicate with us, and who put our interest first.

Like all good coaches, Julie never told Lisa what to do. Instead, she asked questions to make sure Lisa had the information she needed to make her own decision and feel in control of the situation. For Lisa, looking to Julie was looking at a version of herself that wasn’t tied up in the pain or uncertainty of the situation. And while I tried to be as helpful as possible, there were times when I was too emotionally involved to be the calm and comforting presence Lisa needed.

As someone who has benefited from having a professional coach myself, I highly recommend it for anyone who feels stuck or unsure how to move forward. Your colleagues and supervisor are great resources, but like me in the labor room, they might be too close to your situation to be a truly impartial sounding board. Just don’t go into the experience expecting your coach to tell you what to do. Pitocin or no Pitocin, that has to be your call.